Top 10 Reasons to Read ‘420 Reasons Not to Suicide.’

CANNABIS CULTURE – As compiled by the Author.
Hoping to fill his last moments with  poetry and pathos, a drowning man recounts his highest highs.  This wild story of adventures in the counterculture pits depression vs. hope, love vs. loneliness, wonder vs. regret, and getting high vs. falling low.   ‘420 Reasons Not to Suicide’  is a manic romp down a smoke clouded memory lane, full of laughter, longing, and lots of leafy greens. Warning: may cause munchies.  Find  out now if ‘420 Reasons Not to Suicide’ is right for you.  Neff Lind is an award winning screenwriter and published poet.  He lives in Southern Illinois with two cats, one dog, and one partner.  You can follow him on twitter at: @LindNeff  This is his first novel.
10.) Wild Women

‘420 Reasons…’ has more wild women per page than anything you’ll read this year.  And I’m not talking like girls gone wild.  I mean women.  Wild ones.  Like Fleur, a thugged out white girl, who tazes anyone who might play her for a fool, and soothes her broken heart by shooting her pistol at the moon.  Or Rebecca, a billionaire’s daughter, who spins donuts in the parking lot when things don’t go her way.  Or Bian, a retired dwarf prostitute, who drinks vin de table by the gallon jug, and helps a young runaway cut Paris to ribbons.  These are women who cannot be possessed.  To make one of these women your own would be akin to keeping a wildfire as a pet.  Impossible.  Keep a safe distance.  But enjoy the spectacle. They are magnificent.
9.) High Speed Golf-Cart Chases
This book is your number one choice for high speed golf cart chases.  Especially when you like your golf cart chases with a train hopping kicker.  And that train ride through the Iowa countryside, after outrunning (outgolfcarting?) two rent-a-cops and one real one, all with a bong in hand, was sublime.  The night seemed aligned in a pure smooth shot, and the souls flying through it, enjoying the darkness cracked open, breathing deep of the stars and moon, for a moment reached their true potential.
8.) Helpful Home Invasion Tips.
‘420 Reasons…’ has not one but two home invasions which you can learn from.  For example, always put your earplugs in before firing your shotgun indoors, lest you execute your eardrums with extreme prejudice.  And if you’re going to traffic in illicit substances, a dummy safe system can not only deter would be robbers, but fool them if they make a shot at your stash.
7.) Footnotes!
This book has footnotes, which is great because it gives you something to complain about.  You can backdoor brag about how you were actually reading a book instead of just staring at the ever scrolling internet.  E.g. “I hate having to turn the pages to read these footnotes, it’s such a pain.” Except you don’t really have to read the footnotes. In fact you don’t have to at all.  But you can still complain about them.  No one will know.  Plus, the extra footnotes make the book longer, so you get to carry around a fat book, without actually having to read one.  You will look SO smart.  Win win.  And two wins is better than one.
6.) Menage a Awkward
It’s time someone was honest about group sex.  Really, unless it’s particularly your fetish, it’s just incredibly awkward.  ‘420 Reasons…’ contains not one but two disastrous attempts at group sex, one three way, one four way.  They weren’t sexy.  Really they were heartbreaking.  Probably because a man in love cannot see sex except through love’s lens.  And when lust comes calling, that lens is inclined to crack and cloud.  Call it old fashioned, but sometimes one partner is more than enough.
5.)The Beach of your dreams.
The beach of your dreams is at the end of a daylong bus trip, and a two hour donkey ride.  There are no hotels, no restaurants, no tourists except the truly adventurous.  You can rent a hammock or a tent from the same guy who will sell you weed.  He measures it by the handful, a small brown paper sack stuffed full for 20 dollars American.  The only option for food, a shack built of reclaimed wood where an old Mexican lady will make you the most authentic Grandmother level Mexican food you’ve ever eaten, and you sit in her bare kitchen on a hard chair at a plastic table, watching her pan fry fish caught an hour ago a hundred yards away.  And hunger is the best sauce.  And you’ve never been more hungry.  And when the food arrives, you taste Mayan spirits and conquistadors and ghosts and angels both.
4.)Suicide unSimplified
Suicide is messy.  Like there isn’t always a specific reason, or even a specific decision made to act.  Sometimes the decision is hidden in reckless behavior.  But the end result is the same.  ‘420 Reasons…’ is told from the perspective of a drowning man who has waded into dangerous surf for reasons only he really understands.  In the end he chooses life, but by that point the choice may not be his to make.
3.)The terror of drowning.
Drowning is terrifying.  And the ocean is merciless, especially the open ocean. A human cannot feel smaller than when clutching at the open sea with weary limbs under an angry sky.   Reading this book is the closest you’re going to get to knowing what it feels like to drown. To knowing what it’s like to stare down a slow inevitable death, and to refuse to give up, but to know it doesn’t matter.  It won’t matter.  But it has to matter.
2.) Your Comparative Lit. professor would have loved this book.
‘420 Reasons…’ is an allegorical tale.  It’s full of symbolism and poetry and big ideas.  It is thematically rich.  It will invite you to think. But it will also invite you to laugh.  Really, the main reason your Comp. Lit. Professor would have loved this book is because you would have actually read it.  Reading shouldn’t be a chore.  It should be a riotous romp of language and ideas. ‘420 Reasons…’ aims to fulfill this ideal.  Every page should sizzle.  Every sentence should pop.
1.) Your parents would hate this book.
Granted, I don’t know your parents, but chances are they’re not huge fans of the devil’s lettuce.  This book not only normalizes cannabis use, it celebrates it as a medicine and as means of feeling good.  It’s full of wild stories of a young man trying to be good, even great, without sacrificing his soul in the process.  You will probably laugh.  You may even cry.  But you will definitely want to spark up some green.  ‘420 Reasons…’ is a gateway drug.

Pass that dutch!
  • Date
  • Categories
    No Category